The Paleo diet wrecked my life

When me and my cave-lady started Crossfit we wanted to be motivated and exercise.

Me:” It’s like a socialist workout! Everyone comes together in a non-climate controlled room and works out with tires, sledges, ropes and Olympic style strength exercises. AWESOME!”

Cave Queen: “You know there is more to Crossfit right? I have been reading through several sites and people have been saying if you want to really see results you need to eat a paleo based diet.”

Me: “What?! Nah, I will go work my butt off but I want my frozen pizza, ice cream, cereal, girly coffee drinks, sandwiches…(this list was pretty big)…protein shakes and corn-dogs!”

Cave Queen: “Well they are doing a paleo challenge in a couple of months, everyone chips in and the winners get the pot. Wanna try it then?”

Me: “Sudo-gambling? Man I am there!”

Let’s fast forward now about a year, we are still eating about 85% strict paleo and boy let me tell you things aren’t like they used to be. For instance, a normal pizza sits in my gut for about 24 hours, drags me down and saps my energy. Ice cream? It drops me like a rock and makes me sleepy. High sugar items? Same but they also push me to the point of almost narcolepsy. Wanna eat your heads weight in cheese? Not me, skin breakouts, allergies flare and a fine case of gut bloat plus a little gas for those romantic moments.

To put it plainly I hate it. Sure before eating a primarily paleo diet I had all those issues, but it was ordinary! I was used to feeling that way! Now I feel all squeaky clean and full of energy all the time but if I cave to a food lust, BAM! And I have to suffer through till it moves through my system.

If you want to eat whatever you want and live a normal life and never notice any of these issues then by all means, DON’T GIVE PALEO A SHOT!

If you want to try a healthy form of eating then maybe but understand, everytime you lapse back to a super-processed food or something decidedly not paleo you are repeatedly waltzing up to a seedy bar in a singles club full of ugly, emotionally needy people and saying, “I got money, I wanna get drunk and take somebody home!” the fun will be short, tomorrow morning will suck and it will generally feel not worth it.

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3 thoughts on “The Paleo diet wrecked my life

  1. Pingback: Let’s Get It Started (It = Paleo) | Paleo Plan

  2. A relapse can feel horrible after spending a few months on a paleo diet. Don’t believe me? Start now and cheat at thanksgiving. (go big or go home right?)
    You will hurt, you might be narcoleptic but worse than that, you’re going to beat yourself up about it.

    I wrote this post because every ao often I would let my old food lust slip in and wham! Pizza gut pain for a day and and obvious decrease in my level of energy for 1-2 days more. Indulge every now and then if you want. Eat some dark chocolate with your fruit or eat a spoon full of coconut oil and boom! Cravings are history.

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